Telling the Truth: What Role do I play in My Life?

The Truth has become an ambiguous term, lacking form and definition in today's society. Speaking your truth has become more important than The Truth. Now, I'm not sayin that I know the ultimate truth of the universe. What I am saying, is the most important concrete truth you have and practice is, your life. The way you live tells more about who you are, how you feel about yourself and the world around you, than anything you say. You live the truth of your thoughts, beliefs and judgments about life with your actions. These may be good or bad or neither depending on perspective, and the amount of harm done with these actions.

An example of living a belief you may hold about yourself is one I know dearly. For years I avoided going back to college. I believed I wasn't smart enough. I believed I would fail and that I wouldn't belong. I lived those beliefs by making excuses. I avoided taking the time to look into it at all. I also would talk to my self harshly about my intelligence. "You're too stupid." "Damn, I'm dumb." "I can't do that." I would say stuff like this to my self frequently. This belief was created due to confirming experiences through my life. Failing a test. Making mistakes. Being called dumb, or idiot by people I held dear. All of these experiences fed that belief and formed it because I took them personally and internalized those situations.

It took me some time to work through that personal belief of self-doubt. Once I did work through it and I started believing in myself and my intelligence, I went back to college, I got a 4.0 in my first semester and was on track for the same thing before a life changing surgery put me in recovery. The pandemic locking down schools made things more complicated. However, the lock downs gave me an opportunity to explore my interests further and discover who I am, What I want and what I believe I can do. Not to mention, I was doing so good on my course work both semesters, while being in extreme internal pain due to complications of a chronic illness. If I can do that when previously I believed I would never make it in school you can too.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.”- Gandhi

This article really isn't about me. I am merely an example, a mirror if you will, of the very changes in personal belief, and thought that you can make. This article is about you finding those self-defeating beliefs. Changing them and in turn changing your actions and ability to fulfill your goals.

How does telling the truth tie into what I mention in the above paragraphs?

In order for you to change your actions, and your life, you have to be honest with yourself regarding the role you play in your life. You have to begin to look at how you harm yourself, with your words, behavior and thoughts. How you sell yourself short due to the mental landscape you have conditioned yourself to live in.

Are you frequently talking bad about yourself, even in a seemingly joking way?

Do you often think about your mistakes and assign an identity around those mistakes such as, failure or mess up?

Do you practice harmful habits frequently? Overeating/undereating? Drug/alcohol abuse? Putting yourself in risky situations?

Do you take care of all of your needs to the best of your ability or do you neglect your personal needs in favor of distraction or comfort?

Do you feel stuck? Like you are destined to live a miserable life?

If you can say yes to any of these questions chances are good these struggles stem from YOU. They are a manifestation of what you believe to be true about yourself.

As an example, if you believe you're a failure and that you mess up all the time. You may have a dream but never go for it, because you believe you won't succeed. That is an action(or lack of one) that is only repeated because of your beliefs and thoughts.

Now, I would like to challenge you to take a moment and ask yourself a couple of vital questions.

  1. What behavior do I participate in that harms me or others?

  2. What do I think and feel about these actions? Myself when I partake in them?

  3. What belief do these actions stem from?

  4. How do these feelings, thoughts, and beliefs effect my life? Do they help me move forward or do they hold me back?

  5. Finally, how do I change them?

Be honest with yourself about the impact these have on you day to day. If they impact you in a negative way maybe you should consider changing it. We can often get caught up in life and forget that we are directly responsible for how we live our life and the outcomes we receive. We have way more power over the life we live than we give credit. I know for me a little self honesty and actionable changes has made my life significantly different than it was in the past. Sometimes it hurts to be honest about ourselves because it can be hard to swallow the fact that we are causing our self harm and misery. It can be hard to face the parts of ourselves we ignore. It is scary to change. It is scary to look in the mirror because often times we are the very monster that is ruining our own dreams.

The hardest thing is facing yourself. It's much easier to shout "Revolution" and "Power to the People" than it is to take a look at yourself; find out what's real inside you and what isn't, when you're pulling the wool over your own eyes, that's the hardest one."- John Lennon

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