“Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.” ― Viktor E. Frankl
Why am I making this website? Why did I become a life coach? or energy healing practitioner? Why am I writing this Blog?
To begin doing anything you want and make it worth while there has to be a big enough why connected to that want. What I want from this life is very simple and has been a calling of mine since I was a young teen. Simply put, I want to help people. I feel that everyone needs support, wants and deserves to be heard. Some people are too afraid to reach out or feel as if they cannot.
At many points in my life I felt I was beyond help, or didn't deserve it. I had so little belief in myself I believed others should feel the same way or already did. I know now that my belief was wrong. I did deserve to be supported, and I still do. However, from the support I received emotionally, mentally, and spiritually from influential people in my life I learned that the person that needed to have my back the most was myself.
Now, lets revisit the questions presented at the beginning of this post. Why am I doing all of this?
Because I believe in you, and I know you are not beyond help. My goal is to help you believe in yourself. To help you overcome the perceived obstacles on your path. To offer you the tools to gain experience and level up as you blow past these barriers.
I like to compare life to a video game. As you progress through life you deal with struggle. As you progress through a video game you deal with difficulty spikes. Life's struggles are just the difficulty spikes needed to help you better master an element of life. Its easy to get frustrated and metaphorically put the controller down. Or you can use the recourses you have or that can be found around you with a little creativity to help you better beat this level.
I know that metaphor won't be understood by everyone, so let me change the angle so it can be understood more broadly. Life is the process of learning, mastering and becoming the best you can be. Your obstacles are perfect for exactly that. As you overcome you learn from these experiences. You start to master the actions and attitudes it took to overcome. As you master small things one at a time, you become the best you. You are more than capable of overcoming anything in your path. It just takes a little effort, and most importantly self-reflection.
Now, lets get to the real question, the one we're all wondering about. HOW?
How do you overcome any obstacle, struggle, or difficulty? This question and answer is a little more complicated but extremely vital to this process, and has multiple parts.
First, bring awareness.
By being aware of the obstacles on your path, you can begin to creatively look for solutions. However, this step takes honesty. In many cases, it can be hard to get to the core of what is holding you back. It was in my case, and at times it continues to be. This step takes looking at our role authentically, and determining what is being caused by our selves and what is caused by external situations. I've found for myself in many cases there are no external situations in my way, simply my belief and perception of said obstacle. You may find the same thing too with a little self-reflection and honesty. Awareness leads us to acceptance, and acceptance shows us what action is needed to embody change.
"Awareness without action is worthless."- Dr. Phil McGraw
Second, Adjusting your beliefs.
A lot of times, it is our own beliefs that are the real obstacles in our way. For example, you may believe that you're not smart enough to further your education. Holding a self-defeating belief like that will make it easier for you to justify behaviors that reinforce that belief. Adjusting this belief may be all it takes to inspire you to go back to school, educate yourself in a trade, or take more time to learn on your own for the excitement of it. I know this example isn't going to apply to everyone reading this, it is only an isolated example after all. However, I'm sure with a little digging into your beliefs specifically about yourself, you could isolate a personal belief that isn't serving your highest good.
"Believe you can and you're halfway there." -Theodore Roosevelt
Third, creating new thoughts.
We spend so much time thinking everyday, how much of that time are we creating our thoughts? Are the thoughts that continue to surface regularly just thoughts based on the past? Our fears? Expectations? Pre-formed judgements? These are questions I present to promote critical self-reflection. Now, I'm not saying "be critical of yourself and your thoughts." All I'm saying is that with awareness of them and where they come from we can start to create within ourselves the thoughts we want. I'm sure each of you, myself included, would rather think positive thoughts regularly. We have the power to do that, with a little effort we can adjust, change, and create thoughts that empower us rather than ones that drain us.
" If you don't learn to control your thoughts, you will never learn to control your behavior."- Joyce Meyer
Finally, Make a plan, and hold yourself accountable.
Being aware, changing your beliefs and thoughts isn't enough alone to bypass all obstacles. They set up and lead directly into this step. Making an actionable plan that highlights your long term goals and separates them into achievable steps, is vital for change. In doing this you can start to look at the individual pieces of the whole circumstance. You can begin to take personal actions that lead you down a path of individualized personal successes. In all cases though, making a plan isn't enough to achieve it. That's where accountability comes in. By taking responsibility for your plan, and executing the individual steps you decided on, you move closer to your desired outcomes. The key word in that last sentence is responsibility. By taking responsibility of your plan you take control of it. You only keep that control if you hold yourself accountable for the steps you intend to take.
Now, I know there is a lot more to overcoming than mentioned above. These are steps I've taken, and have seen the results in my own life. I focus on these steps individually to give you a basic idea of what it takes to take control of your life and the outcomes you want. Within these steps there is a lot involved. All of it is within your control. If you noticed every step I mention has one thing in common. YOU. What YOU are aware of, what YOU think, what YOU believe and what YOU have individual power over. I want YOU to take your power back, and take control of your actions, thoughts, and beliefs.
"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible." -Francis of Assisi
I will leave you with this, I lived a hard life growing up; Abuse, absent father, juvenile prison and boot camp, homelessness, addiction, hunger, mental health problems, low self-esteem. You name it I may have some experience dealing with it in some capacity. However, I made the personal decision to change, to become better, and not allow those experiences to define me and anchor me in the same place. Instead, I draw strength from them. I embrace those situations as jet fuel for My Growth. It took awareness, changes to my beliefs and thoughts, and a plan where I continue hold myself accountable. I implore you to do the same thing, and I Am here to help you do that.
YOU GOT THIS. YOU CAN DO IT.
I BELIEVE IN YOU MORE THAN YOU KNOW.
YOU ARE THE HERO OF YOUR STORY. EMBRACE IT. MAKE A CHANGE.
BECOME THE BEST YOU CAN BE.